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While a friend and I were playing catch up recently and exchanging shopping notes she suddenly went ” Everything will look better on you because you are slim” on me..I laughed it off but my mind was busy thinking Whooaa 1. That’s not true..( I look truly hideous in most jackets, gym clothes, sleeveless tees, sheath dresses.. and a million other things) 2. Until recently I used to be ginormousss .. 3. And I am nowhere close to thin now but I have finally made peace with my dress sizes 😀  So let me take this as an opportunity to share my battle with the bulge( Because I am dramatic like that! ) 🙂

schoolI was always a plump child. Until when I was about 10, my mom simply coaxed me into believing that I was ” very healthy/big-boned “. But as I grew older, and my weight grew with it, I was starting to feel the brunt of it especially since “pleasantly plump” had become “faaaatttyyy”. My mom enrolled me in a bunch of classes that required me to indulge in plenty of physical activity but it had zero effect on my lard. She even tried to get me to eat “healthy”( for the record snacking rules:P) and join a gym but it was a short-lived phase. Sure I lost plenty of weight but quickly gained it back and some more 🙂 But let me tell you I was a happy teen in general ( my mom on the other hand would tell you a different story- apparently I was riddled with body issues and terrorized her in turn :P)  – My schoolmates never mocked me( at least to my face), I was oblivious of the fact that a smaller frame meant more attention from the opposite sex( True story), and I happily took solace in my textbooks until I reached college.At 18This was when the cracks started to show…. the scales tipped at 90 kgs/198 pounds and I was painfully aware of the fact that most nice clothes “didn’t fit right” Also throw in the fact that I was at a fashion school and tada…I was constantly in between periods of being “happy” and “extremely depressed”. By now I hated my body( I also hated being photographed) and was trying to punish it by indulging in all sorts of yoyo diets. My weight was swinging wildly and I cried at the drop of a hat!(Not a happy place to be) I knew my weight had no bearing on my personality but I started to realize that a healthy body image was necessary for me to be “me”. I scrapped all my insane diets, joined a gym and it took me a good 2 years( hard but rewarding) to find my footing.( My mom was amazing through it all) I realized that each routine and each diet works differently for different people. For the first time in years I actually embraced my body and worked with it. I can now safely say that I know what makes me gain weight and what I need to lose the pounds.  Also I never deny myself of any of my favorite foods; I still hit the gym when I am up to it ( I prefer walking)and currently weigh around 120-123 pounds depending on when my sweet tooth decides to take over. 😀Then,nowYes, there are days when I look at myself in the mirror and see the plump me staring back, there are days when I can only notice the unflattering bits, there are times when I try on a cute dress and get angry at how terrible it looks on me, I still have a below average body image(ask Prat), and I still sometimes aspire for the ideal “skinny” –  but during these times I remind myself( sometimes he does it for me) of how far I have come and how proud I should be .. and I am! 🙂

PS: Some of these photos havent seen the light in ages, so it’s a big deal for me to put them up 😀 and I couldn’t resist doing the then, now scenario( Been wanting to do it foreeveerr! :P)

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